"The time has come," the poet said, "to talk of many things. . ." byMichele Brenton
Alas the saying about it being easy to get a horse to water but then it being a fair old struggle to encourage the nag to partake of said liquid refreshment - is not even vaguely helpful to the publisher of poetic works.
If water is meant to be a metaphor for poetry - the horse generally rears up with a wild look in its eyes and the person attempting to kindly direct it in that direction (i.e. the poet, in other words me) is in real danger of getting a hoof to the brainpan with dire consequences.
Getting the horse to the water is the trickiest aspect to the whole process. Once you are there you can splash it about a bit. Squirt some in the vicinity of the mouth and once the cool refreshment is experienced a repeat performance is often voluntarily sought out. Enthusiastically even.
There are some unusual members of the equine species (I'm still being metaphorical here, stick with me) who are addicted to the old H2O and glug it down like billy-o. Others who can be led to the wet stuff and not only drink it but leap into the trough and submerge themselves in a scene to gladden the eye. But they are very rare.
The majority are the rearers and shyers. They are the ones to be persuaded, cajoled and won over if the poet is not to spend a life mucking out the stables of other more successful horse-botherers.
The poet aspiring to material reward needs to acquire the skills of a horse-whisperer or somehow disguise the dreaded poetry in something else the equine population will stampede towards, imbibe and learn to love before they begin to suspect what has happened.
I think I'm starting to feel my way along to that point. After six years proffering my pail it seems to me that foals will be easier to persuade than full-grown mares and stallions but so far I have not explored that pasture.
Eventually I believe I will have all the answers and then will happily share them. Probably in another six years. In the meantime my considered advice is to steer clear of poetry as a means to commercial success. No point us all flogging a dead horse. There isn't that much of it to go round.
In 2006 I bunged my first poetry blog online. In 2009 I published my first poetry eBook. In 2012 I now have a number of paperbacks and eBooks in existence boinging in and out of Amazon bestsellers lists like demented toddlers on a bouncy castle.
My most recent bestselling eBook is "Fifty Shades of Blue - the trilogy", released in early July and as yet showing no signs of being subdued and recaptured.
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No animals have been harmed or even slightly annoyed in the production of my poetry.
