A Dream Of A Distant Shore by Mariam Kobras

 



 

So today is the day.

The day every writer dreams of—launch day for my book.

Just so you know, it wasn’t my dream.

Or rather, I never thought this dream would apply to me.

Not really.

Well, maybe a little bit.

It’s strange. I thought today would be a champagne and fireworks sort of day. A day of celebration and new things, only it’s not.

Which is good and bad, because I know The Distant Shore has been selling well, is getting good reviews and, hopefully, will be a successful book.

Amazon, it was all Amazon’s fault.

They started the sale of The Distant Shore two weeks early. I found out because people started tweeting me.

I remember waking up on January 4th, and I had all these tweets saying things like, “YAY! Amazon has shipped your book! Can’t wait to get it!” and rubbing my eyes in astonishment.

My publisher was as surprised as I was, and we hastened to announce the early launch to the world.

Which put The Distant Shore on the Amazon bestseller list for a day. Until Amazon sold out. My publisher had to work in a frenzy to ship them more copies.

 

The weirdest thing was, I didn’t have a copy of my own book yet.

Tweets and Facebook posts came in telling me how wonderful the book looked, felt, even smelled. How lovely the cover was, and how great the story.

AND I DIDN’T HAVE IT YET!

It was really nobody’s fault.

My publisher had sent the box with my copies off as soon as The Distant Shore had come back from the printer, and everything would have been fine…if Amazon had not preempted my launch day.

So here I was, a published author, a bestseller, with no books.

I told my publisher it didn’t matter. I knew the story anyway, after all I had written it. And hey, it would only be a couple of days.

But my publisher was upset.

I kept a stiff upper lip and told them it wasn’t important that I had the book as long as the customers had it.

But when Eric, the artist who created the painting on the cover, posted a pic of his dedication to his mother-in-law in my book, that was the moment when I realized how deeply I cared, and how much it really mattered to me to hold my book in my own hands. I wanted it with all my heart.

Within seconds, it became the most important thing to me, ever.

 

The parcel with the books arrived a few days later. I had to go pick them up from customs, where they asked me to open the box for inspection.

I couldn’t.

My hands were shaking so badly, my palms were sweaty and I could hardly talk. The nice guys at customs took pity on me and opened the box for me.

And there it was.

MY book.

I took one out. It felt wonderful. It looked wonderful. The customs guys were nearly as excited as I was. They even unlocked the back door for me so I could take a shortcut to the parking lot and not have to carry the heavy parcel all the way around the building.

Driving home, I kept touching the box on the seat beside me.

MY book.

Back at home, I made coffee and sat down to have a closer look.

Something very strange happened when I opened the book and began to read.

It felt, even though this was my own novel, as if by being printed the words had been removed from me, as if they now have a life of their own. I found myself reading my own book as if it were written by a stranger, and I liked it! It drew me in, the way a good novel is supposed to do.

My teenage son came home from school and saw me reading, and I tried to explain to him how I felt, how weird it was to hold the Distant Shore in my hands.

With all the coolness of a seventeen-year-old, he shrugged and answered, “You are absolved.” He went on to explain that the story wasn’t mine anymore, I had given it away to the world, and so I had separated myself from it. It was time for me to move on and let the book find its own life.

I blinked at him, but I also knew he was right.

Because, you see, in that box with the author’s copies of The Distant Shore, there was also a new contract from my publisher for two more books.

They had just popped them in there, without a word, without telling me about it beforehand.

And NOW I realized why my publisher had been so upset about the early launch. They had wanted me to have the new contract before The Distant Shore hit the market so I could see they wanted me enough to sign me again, no matter how the first book did.

 

It’s time for me to let my first book go. To let it make its way in the world, and be a success. My author’s copies have found their places on my shelf, and the shelf of my older son. I’ve even sold one (to my bank manager, who wanted it badly and told me he was terribly proud of me!).

Now, the new books are calling.

Under The Same Sun, book 2 in the Stone Trilogy, is being edited by the publisher. Book 3, Song Of The Storm, is well on its way.

 

I am so lucky. I’m an author. And I have a publisher I love, and who loves me back.

Yes. This was my dream. I lied.