How to handle feedback by MaryBeth Mulhall

Authors, like other people with jobs in the Arts, get a whooooole lot of feedback from a  wide range of people.  There are one or two groups of beta readers, family and friends (if you let them read your work), agents, editors, publishers, marketing folks and of course, the public and your adoring fans.

Sadly, we do not live in a dream world where everything is rainbows and butterflies and our work is adored by one and all. Therefore, negative feedback is something we often have to deal with. The big question is, how do you not let it get to you? A writer's ego can be quite the delicate thing.  How does one handle the bad feedback without having it crush your spirit and motivation? How do you know what should be taken to heart and what should be allowed to roll off your back?

First, consider your source and the amount of times that particular comment comes up.  If mom is telling you she hates the ending when everyone else loves it, then you will just have to come to terms with the fact that mom prefers happy endings or whatever the opposite of what you wrote is. Should the feedback come from an editor or your agent, then you have to remember that this is their business and they look at a lot of writing on a daily basis. They know, probably better than most of us, what works and what doesn't, so I would definitely take their comments seriously. That is NOT to say that you have to agree to all their changes.  If they are suggesting you make a major change to the main character or the plot and you don't agree with it, speak up! Each novel, article, review you write is your piece of art. Ultimately, you're the one who has to be happy with it. Go with your gut. If changing the age of your main character rubs you the wrong way, you are well within your rights to say no.

Should several people comment that your dialog is stilted and unrealistic, well then, you best get to reading it out loud and seeing how true that is. My general feeling is that if more than one person mentions it, it's worth you taking the time to look it over and see if you can change or improve something. That doesn't include the comment "OOh I wish Brad would have ended up with the MarySue instead of Josh!" Fan girls are always going to take sides and be vocal about why they prefer one character over the other.  I welcome those kinds of comments because to me that means I didn't skimp on developing that character who doesn't end up with the girl at the end.

Secondly, I think it's very important to remember you're not going to please everyone all of the time. There are always going to be critics out there who don't enjoy your writing style, your topic, your love of using bad catch phrases. Those are the comments you learn to let slide off your back. Sometimes, it comes from a different place, jealousy perhaps, that you accomplished something they haven't. You'll learn in time what to take seriously and what to brush off as internet trolls and the likes.

It may be a struggle at times and I don't think there's any shame in letting it get you down, so long as you know you can't stay down there. Cry your little eyes out over the fact that people can't follow your conversations and then get to fixing it.  You've already put all this time and effort into writing a rough draft. That is much more than most people will ever do. Don't give up and throw your work in the trash. A stiff upper lip, a bruised yet resilient ego, a love of your work, those helpful comments from others and a little polish is all you'll really need to make that piece of art shine.

 

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